Marry the ones we love or loving the ones we marry?

This question was posted up by our lecturer in Critical Thinking class:

Does a good marriage lie in marrying the man\woman you love or loving the man\woman you marry?

Read it again.

The first question that usually pops in one's mind is; is there a difference to it?

Yes, there is a difference in it. The former asks you whether a good marriage is based upon being with the one you love for the rest of your life. The second question asks you that whether a good marriage means being married to someone and then we are compelled to love them.

Marriage is a bond, may it be legal, emotional or spiritual; but a marriage is a bond of dedication and strength. To be married to someone else, is like giving your life away to the other person. A marriage is very courages thing for a man or woman to take up. It isn't as easy as it is.

In this modern society, marriage is often treated as a play-thing, a trend or so it seems. Many have failed in understanding the true meaning of marriage- whereby marriage is the gift of one self to another individual.

Now back to the question: Does marriage lie in marrying the one you love or loving the one you had married?

Marrying the one you love, is usually the answer for most. To completely give you life over to another person and making an unbreakable promise to the opposite party is the vast leap one has to take to make that marriage successful. Though, marrying the one you love, is a challenge itself; will the love inevitably last? Will it sustain till both of the couple rest in peace? Love between two people lasts only when both want it to last. If one of the two fails to love the other, then the mutual feeling for each other differs and problems, emotionally and socially persists. So the case now here is, to marry, are we going to love then forever, till eternity? Is the marriage going to last as long as we ourselves make it last.

Loving the one you marry, is another way to look at marriage. In this case, it refers to getting married first and then the effort to love him or her contrary to the previous question whereby that is loving the person then having to commit physically. In loving the person you marry, one has to completely tolerate and give in fully to the person that you have been binded with. It does not necessarily mean that you love that person or that person loves you back (in extreme cases) but is the commitment you have to make in making that marriage successful. Here we examine the course of nature that love brews when we are legally bound to the other party. Ask this to ourselves, if I were to marry him\her, will it work? Do I really want to give my life to him\her? Will I make it work?

Marriage is commitment where one has to make and not giving up so easily. Marrying usually depends on love and love depends on relying on each other. So what is marriage to you?

Love as defined by Robert Sternberg is divided into three main components: Intimacy, passion and commitment. In these three cases, a couples love is usually based on intimacy and passion, to intimacy and commitment and finally to commitment.

Marriage in this context is based on the modern society. The general public; where marriage is usually commercialized by the mass media. Nevertheless the bond and vow of marriage is still ever pure.