Project: Rain.

It was a dark afternoon that day in January. The clouds covered the bright afternoon sun, the wind was cold, it gave a tingly feeling when it touched the skin. Then, drops of water fell from the sky, bit by bit, and then just in an instant later, it rained. It rained so heavy that you couldn't even stand in the rain without getting slightly bruised. It kept on raining for awhile.

Mustafa Azim stood by the window inside his three storey house. Looking out into the dark afternoon sky. His back facing me, as I sat there clutching my laptop atop my lap as I rested my legs on the footstool. The room was furnished with a long table and a few chairs, two armchairs, which one of it I was sitting on, shelves of books and folios, a glass pane in the middle of the room drawn on complex equations and graphs, a large wall which was turn into a whiteboard, it too was stuck on by newspaper articles and numerous mathematical equation and a coffee machine on the counter by the door.

I put my laptop onto the side table, and stood up. I walked towards Mustafa, and held his shoulder. He didn't look back, he just stood there staring blankly into the dark afternoon.

I joined him and looked at the dark sky with him, then he slowly turned his head to me;

"Do you think this will work?"

I look back at him, my eyes narrowed, "Where is your faith my brother?"

He smiled and gave a slight nod. He turned and went to sit in one of the armchairs. He leaned back and stretched his arms behind his head. With my back facing him, I said,

"Look, Mustafa, it is only a matter of time before the government notices our contributions to the country. I mean how rich can people be?"

I heard him giving out a small grunt. He and I both knew that one day or another the government will give in to our project. Everyone knew that this is a project that no other country will turn down. The only thing that kept us from selling our technology to the Americans, Russians or the EU was our patriotism. We believed that our mother land, Malaysia will give their full support in this.

But now we have doubts.

"Our own country funded us with fifteen million Ringgit; and how much did they fund that ridiculous movie about a teenage love gone wrong in Johor? twenty-five million!?" Mustafa said it clearly with contempt in his voice.

I turned to look at him. He was right, the government funded tax payers money on entertainment more on science research. I swallowed the truth. I walked towards one of the glass panels in the middle of the room. I touched the panel with a finger. It gave a soft hum, then a screen appeared before me, it showed a blue glowing sphere, I touched the middle of it. Immediately the room brightened a little, the afternoon sun shone through the dark clouds, though scarce, the warmth could be felt.

Mustafa stood up, "Well, either us or them are idiots, this technology can save lives!"

I stared at the window, a wave of doubt flowed over me. What are we doing selling this to a government who has no interest in saving the world? I sighed and went to sit again.

Solemnity no more.

1. She walks past my classroom, I sit by the window, as I sit and look outside the window, she returns my glance. We share a smile then she walks off, I return to my books.
2. In the morning, as I enter my class I put my knapsack down, and I quickly walk to the other class beside. I see her sitting there by herself. I sit opposite her, we smile and just look at each other.
3. I see her sitting there at the canteen table, she sits there with her best friend, as I approach the table, she looks at me and franticly waves at me with a big smile on her face. Then she returns her look to the guy opposite her.

These were the days. I used to be head over heels over these people. What have they done, basically nothing to me, but I started to realize how perfect they were if they were more into my life.

All of them, though not knowing how I felt for them shared a connection with me. We were all close friends. And the one thing that they did not know, was that they give me a hard time sleeping at night, rolling and turning at 3 a.m. without getting a shut-eye. Day and night at some point they sit beside me in my mind. I lose focus on reality and start imagining them beside me. I used to dream hard and well about them; these people were so close to me, if only we were to get closer.

I'll just be frank. I loved them very much. I admired their traits and no doubt any guy would be wanting them to be theirs'.

All of my past foolishness of dreaming of them now are gone. Vanished over time as I realize that it is just a waste of energy and grey matter to ponder from dawn to dusk about them. Having an empty dream and a future that is fake isn't a thing to do when life promises more than that.

"There are many fishes in the sea"

Hardly am I comparing them sea life but true the words are. High school isn't the place to fall completely in love, it is an undying yearning as an adolescent a wanting to of hormones nothing more.

And yes, I still befriend them, but the feelings of a guy madly in love with a girl is no more. I still admire them, but the wanting of them being mine, exclusively mine has faded. I have lost the feeling of palpitation whenever I see them, I am less invigorated whenever I come close to them. Yes, the feeling of love is still there, no doubt, but the love has evolved to another level, that is friendship and nothing more than that.

The reason so this has happened because, time moves forward and so have I. I have realised that this kind of puppy love is only for awhile. Also, never would I have ever had the chance with any of them. This feeling fades as I learn from another close friend of mine. This friend was frank with me, she told me what I needed to hear and she trusted me, telling me what she felt about their feelings. I am not blaming her for the lost feeling of love towards the 1, 2, and 3 but rather making me more mature and letting me believe in things that are really in reality.

"The Love of a teenager is no more, only the spirit of true friendship forever"

P\S: Only out of the initial three, only the third girl was the closest to me, and who I loved the most. And the one who made me realize reality could be the 4th (in a relationship of true reliable friendship)

Number notes: The numbers represents the people who I fell for.