By the Lake.

I stare into the darkness,

Alone by the lake,

Sounds of the birds at night,

whisper of the wind.

I see her standing there,

her face facing me,

I see her sweet smile, smiling at me with such loving eyes.

I stand up,

turn my head away,

I cannot let her see my tear.

She comes to me,

kisses me on the cheek,

slowly she fades into the darkness.

Here I am, by the open lake, under the night sky, a few stars and the cool breeze of the night.

I sigh and wiped my tear away.

I am all alone, she wasn't here.

She is in a better place, with a better someone.

I will never lose her, as long as she is still in my heart.

Taat.

Taat, the Malay word for respect, honour and loyalty.

Khairol Azman stared blankly at the white washed wall. His back against the opposite wall, the narrow hallway he was in had two doors at the end of it. One was where he came in, the other is where he is waiting to enter. The 12-feet long hallway had one small window facing the garden outside. Khairol's hand began to sweat, he anxiousness was starting to overcome him.

"You can come now", the voice came from a shadowy figure behind the door Khairol wanted to go in. He stood up and walked towards the door, his wrinkled hands grasped the cold doorknob and opened the door. He walked in and bowed towards the man sitting in an armchair the middle of the room. "Sit down", the man that was at the door said. Khairol took the other armchair facing the man in the middle of the room.

But before he sat, he knelt down towards the man and kissed his hand. He then took his seat, shifted himself in a slightly more comfortable position. "Raju, offer our friend here a drink, he is our guest" said the man in the armchair to Raju, the man that was behind the door. Immediately Raju, took a teacup and saucer and placed it on the side-table between the two sitting men. He poured some black tea for Khairol. Khairol looked at him and smiled. "Come, drink, you are my guest" said the man in the armchair. With his withered hands, Khairol carefully took the teacup, blew into the hot drink and sipped it slowly; he placed it back, and with a slight sigh he sat back.

"My friend, you asked to see me, what can I do for you? Try to relax, you're in good company now" the man in the armchair calmly said. "Tuan, I'm sorry for coming on such notice, I know it has been such a long time since we met, times these days are harder and harder. I have never been in such a position like this" Khairol's voice suddenly trailed off, he covered his face with his hands. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and continued, "Tuan, I will lose my ladang if I don't pay my mortgage up. This land belongs to my grandfather, suddenly the bank comes in and issues me a notice, I don't know what to do", again his voice trailed off, and this time it came with tears.

The tuan, sat there slowly nodding his head. He looked at Khairol. "What do you want me to do? Pay it up for you? Lend you the money? Talk to the bank?" asked the tuan. He then stood up, placed his hands on the shoulder of the old man, he then lifted Khairol's chin and said "For years, I have never heard from you, you were once the main provider for rice for this family but after you got richer, which is only a little rich, you forgot about your friends"

"Please tuan, I will do anything, do this on our friendship" pleaded Khairol Azman. The tuan's eye grew large. He went back to his sit. He looked at Khairol, he forwarded his right towards Khairol. The old man knelt before the tuan and kissed his hand; "Remember this day, Khairol, for you are my friend, I am helping you, your loyalty shall always be with your friends especially the ones who help you in most troubling times". Khairol nodded and stood up, he bowed and took one last sip of his drink. "Thank you tuan. Thank you Tun Lionel", he quickly turned his back and went towards the exit, Raju opened the door for him. As soon as Khairol was out the door, Raju closed the door and locked it.

Tun Lionel Rzumi Wong, sat down now looking at Raju, "Tell, Salleh of this, he'll know what to do". Raju nodded and exited the room. The Tun leaned back into his armchair. He took a sip of the golden liquid in his glass. He stood up and walked towards the room's window, it was facing the outside garden.

He was the Tun. People needed him and he needs the people. He isn't a man in office, but is strong enough to own them.

Petty feelings of Affection.

Desperation,

Anxiety;

The heart is a fragile thing,

it longs for the feeling of love,

never it can be without emotions.

Who does one go for?

What is the heart wanting?

The choices are many

but ultimately

only one is chosen.

Does one go for the one,

in waiting

or

the lonely

or

the hurt

or

the fascinated

or

does one don't go at all

and

focus on what's more a priority?

It came and gone.

It is 22nd May 2011. We are still here, continuing our lives as usual. Doomsday predictor Harold Camping said that there is 'No plan B' on the destruction of Earth on the 21st. Well, Mr. Camping, not to be offensive, we are still here, the world still exist as it does. Yes, the end of the world came for some orphans at Hulu Langat but that was very unfortunate. May they rest in peace. But for the rest of us, our lives still needs to go on; we can't do anything because the isn't here yet. So much, for the destruction. Next up, we will have to wait for 2012.

Moving to a more close-to-home issue, given 3 times for the engine to die, is already considered sympathetic but given 9 times is saint-like; and even that you are still able to fail, what chance is there to get your driver's license. Yes, I have failed, or lets put it, didn't pass my driving test. It's a shame and now, just have to lessen up on the feet. At least no road accidents caused.

A takeover?

Christianity is to become the official religion in Malaysia.

Before you start getting all excited and jittery, read again. And again. Does anyone in their right mind think that the Christians would want to make Christianity as the official religion in Malaysia? Why did such an issue ever rise in the very first place? We Christians understand and tolerate* every other race and religion in Malaysia, we wouldn't be as ignorant as to come up with the idea of making Christian as the official religion. Furthermore, it has been stated in black and white that Islam is the official religion in this country, who would dare challenge that? The Federal Constitution (by right) cannot be challenged or questioned, so why would we want to that in a country governed by constitutional and federal law?

No one can deny the Islam and Christianity is an Abrahamic religion. This makes us brothers in a way; and in both religion we are taught to respect and look after our brother, if this so then we would look after each other's back. This issue has become racial because of some people's opinion that having a global prayer event would be planning a mass takeover of a country. Critically speaking, we Christians wouldn't want to take over the country, we don't have the power to do so.

So, I ask my Muslim brethren, do you really think that we are that mad to rebel against our own brothers, you?

Being a student, the youth of Malaysia and being a Faithful of Christ; it sometimes makes me wonder, why would the authorities, to whom we trust, bringing up such sensitive issues? Everyone should be mature enough to think that Malaysia strives as a multi-racial country, and this is one of our prides; if we destroy this aspect then what else do we have?

Insensitive people and radicals should not be involved in this issue, let some intellectuals and wise-men in. What happens if we have extremists in this issue? A group of them would think to the extreme that the opposing force is all-out to get them, then they go mad and attack the opposing force who didn't even plan anything in the first place. And the price to pay: the fall of unity in Malaysia.

I am praying that we can get a mutual understanding among each other. To my Muslim brothers and sisters, we both know that our religion is about peace and harmony, for a greater future in the after life; quarrels between us are inevitable but lets work harder to lessen the friction. The pastors and priests in the event were just having a prayer, a unity between God and man, this is where everyone is invited to speak to Him; discussions of this sort would be futile and contradict what we are praying for. Besides that, the government allows anyone in Malaysia to spread their faith in anyway providing that they do not disrupt the harmony of others. For all that we know, the people who (initially) started this issue a) misinterpreted the true purpose of this prayer b) wanted to (purposely) get at some one and\or c) never understood the true meaning of faith.

http://www.bharian.com.my/bharian/articles/Agendapertemuanpaderiserius/Article/

http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v5/newsindex.php?id=584728

*Tolerance= the ability, willingness, or capacity to allow the existence or occurrence of a matter without interference. Maybe others should to learn this because this is what 1Malaysia is all about, and those who are officially dealing with this issue should look at it and learn as they are promoting it.

Easter Vigil.

This pictures were taken during Easter Vigil mass, 2011.

The candidates; who are about to believe in the faith, stand in front of the congregation while the priest prays over them.

The path to the Altar.

From left to right, The altar boy holds the microphone for the priest, Deacon Martin overlooks the procession and Fr. Rajoo blesses the Candle of Easter in Holy Water.

A Eurasian Affair 2.

Meeting a family member after a long time can be exciting. Some feel terrified and there are times when people are reluctant to do so, no matter how long they haven't met their family member. At first I myself was a little nervous in seeing Lt. Col (or uncle) Ed after many years and his wife (my aunty); the chills ran through me, what am I going to say when I see them, can I offer my hospitality and not hostility to them as guests at my home? Petty worries, in the end it all turned out to be a joyous time together with my mom's elder brother.

You see, being a Eurasian has its own unique way of life, we have always the fusion of the Western and Eastern culture in our everyday lives. Some of our homes are a typical arrangement of an English man's house and the other room is just as messy as any kindergarten. In addition, some of us are too one-cultured favoured till we lose the opposite culture's way of life. The combination of the multi-culture in our bloods make us proud to be called Malaysians.

Anyway, having the uncle and aunt around excites the nature of my home. Having them (or having any extended family members) creates the atmosphere of story-telling, hobby tips, old-to-young advises and of course a pinch of gossip. We sit in the living room for hours and share stories that sometimes have no relation to one another, example: the Chinese boy in the neighbourhood used to be cycling around selling 'roti', and remember Aunty X who married that man from UK who's cat your grand-uncle looks after. Talking about your granduncle, how is your sister-in-law who converted last year. I just love this, takes some time getting used to though. Furthermore, when we get together, the elder will always give wise advice to the young ones, and the men of course will give their advices: treat a girl well, then she'll cook for you, even if she can't don't bother or else you'll never get to eat again.

When guests come over, we chiak (Hokkien word meaning 'to eat'), no matter what, food and drinks becomes the axis of interaction in a gathering. We take them out for an Indian lunch, a Chinese dinner and Eurasian-Malay-Indian lunch the next day. See, we're a fusion of culture. A few drinks maybe at night, and goes again the sharing of time with each other.

The family is always being the centre of concern for us and God being the foundation of everyday life. Also, there is the learning curve in which we the young ones learn from the old and the old learn a little from the young. We never bore of each other, and another thing is, we quarrel occasionally but which family do not? The witty jokes always brighten a solemn mood where a solemn mood always calms the overjoyed moments. Call us mix, we enjoy life as hard as we can, and we strive hard to make it in a country where our race was born.

Forgive me for the unorganized flow of the essay and the minor grammar mistakes here and there. This is just a mere insight on how this minority race in Malaysia go about our lives.