A long return.

It has been over three years since my last posting, and I have completely forgotten all about my blog. I feel guilty for abandoning it. What more after reading back my old post, I think to myself, I was a strange, much much strange person back when I was 19 years old. Heck, it has only been three years.

Anyway today, 27th October marks the day where I will revive my blog and start blogging again. Will anyone read it? I'm not sure, but who cares? Let this be something where I dedicate myself to.

So if you're reading this, welcome to my blog. Don't judge me just yet. You might find something interesting.

The ripples within

I obviously did something wrong, or maybe I'm just not that presentable to her. 

Yes it's another problem with a another girl. I have fallen in love again, and this time I really think I caused the trouble within myself. 

Who is this girl?

Nop, she isn't perfect, nop she isn't sweet nor she is beautiful; in fact she seems challenging and also hard to handle but she seems all too well to be loved and to be taken care off. Where have I failed to look after my face or my credibility in front of her, I think I have lost it all. 

Can it ever be recreated or can it ever be repaired. What more my dear brother friend is so close to her. What chance then do I have with her. He himself is confused of his feeling but it is obvious the sparks are there. 

Now the greatest concern is not to get her anymore but rather get her for the good of my reputation.  

Numerology (short) experience

The last two days I attended a Leadership and Team Management course in UTAR. The facilitator was a professional leadership trainer and speaker. He was very motivated and passionate in his way of delivering- Captain Arivanathan, a former ship captain. Besides teaching and showing us how to be a good leader, he also had the ability to do numerology. The numbers were based on your birth date and it was based on a traditional Indian system; plus he included palmistry. Strangely enough his reading were strangely (and a little creepy) true. This is what he interpreted when he read my numbers:

1. I am a creative thinker and innovative one too.
2. I think differently from other people.
3. I like to cook, and when I do, I go by taste.
4. I have skin problem.
5. I do things with passion if I really want to do things.
6. My initial (or early on in life) love life will experience a lot of problems but it gets better over time.
7. I might have a problem of having a hard time getting children BUT
8. I am active and good in bed (That is what he said).
9. I would be rich in my latter part of life (NOTE: not stated what kind of wealth).
10. I have a problem with friends, that none will last with me for a very long time but I would have met many-many people; friends go in and out of your life.
11. I talk fast.
12. (through palmistry) I am very hot-tempered and can't keep my anger long.
13. Deep thinker.

That's about it. Overall, I think it is rather true for most of them. Especially describing my personality, most of it does reflect how I am. Accurate or not, at least he got me interested in this kind of study for now.

What do you think, do those description match me?

Those Hands.

Those Hands,
never let me go.

Those Hands,

help pull myself up when I fall.

Those Hands,

guide me through the unknown road.

Those Hands,

hold me when I need reassurance.

Those Hands,
comfort me when I lose myself.

Those Hands,

rests on my shoulders when I'm in doubt.

Those Hands,

are around me when I need a friend.

Those Hands,

point to me the path I need to take.

Those Hands,
taps gently on mine when I lose myself.

All through my moments of joy and grief,

All through moments of confidence and doubt,

All through my moments of peace and anxiety;

those Hands are there; never letting go.

At times I don't hold back those Hands

but never have those Hands left mine.
For that, I kiss those Hands, the Hands which has been pierced for me.

Amen.

By the Lake.

I stare into the darkness,

Alone by the lake,

Sounds of the birds at night,

whisper of the wind.

I see her standing there,

her face facing me,

I see her sweet smile, smiling at me with such loving eyes.

I stand up,

turn my head away,

I cannot let her see my tear.

She comes to me,

kisses me on the cheek,

slowly she fades into the darkness.

Here I am, by the open lake, under the night sky, a few stars and the cool breeze of the night.

I sigh and wiped my tear away.

I am all alone, she wasn't here.

She is in a better place, with a better someone.

I will never lose her, as long as she is still in my heart.

Taat.

Taat, the Malay word for respect, honour and loyalty.

Khairol Azman stared blankly at the white washed wall. His back against the opposite wall, the narrow hallway he was in had two doors at the end of it. One was where he came in, the other is where he is waiting to enter. The 12-feet long hallway had one small window facing the garden outside. Khairol's hand began to sweat, he anxiousness was starting to overcome him.

"You can come now", the voice came from a shadowy figure behind the door Khairol wanted to go in. He stood up and walked towards the door, his wrinkled hands grasped the cold doorknob and opened the door. He walked in and bowed towards the man sitting in an armchair the middle of the room. "Sit down", the man that was at the door said. Khairol took the other armchair facing the man in the middle of the room.

But before he sat, he knelt down towards the man and kissed his hand. He then took his seat, shifted himself in a slightly more comfortable position. "Raju, offer our friend here a drink, he is our guest" said the man in the armchair to Raju, the man that was behind the door. Immediately Raju, took a teacup and saucer and placed it on the side-table between the two sitting men. He poured some black tea for Khairol. Khairol looked at him and smiled. "Come, drink, you are my guest" said the man in the armchair. With his withered hands, Khairol carefully took the teacup, blew into the hot drink and sipped it slowly; he placed it back, and with a slight sigh he sat back.

"My friend, you asked to see me, what can I do for you? Try to relax, you're in good company now" the man in the armchair calmly said. "Tuan, I'm sorry for coming on such notice, I know it has been such a long time since we met, times these days are harder and harder. I have never been in such a position like this" Khairol's voice suddenly trailed off, he covered his face with his hands. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and continued, "Tuan, I will lose my ladang if I don't pay my mortgage up. This land belongs to my grandfather, suddenly the bank comes in and issues me a notice, I don't know what to do", again his voice trailed off, and this time it came with tears.

The tuan, sat there slowly nodding his head. He looked at Khairol. "What do you want me to do? Pay it up for you? Lend you the money? Talk to the bank?" asked the tuan. He then stood up, placed his hands on the shoulder of the old man, he then lifted Khairol's chin and said "For years, I have never heard from you, you were once the main provider for rice for this family but after you got richer, which is only a little rich, you forgot about your friends"

"Please tuan, I will do anything, do this on our friendship" pleaded Khairol Azman. The tuan's eye grew large. He went back to his sit. He looked at Khairol, he forwarded his right towards Khairol. The old man knelt before the tuan and kissed his hand; "Remember this day, Khairol, for you are my friend, I am helping you, your loyalty shall always be with your friends especially the ones who help you in most troubling times". Khairol nodded and stood up, he bowed and took one last sip of his drink. "Thank you tuan. Thank you Tun Lionel", he quickly turned his back and went towards the exit, Raju opened the door for him. As soon as Khairol was out the door, Raju closed the door and locked it.

Tun Lionel Rzumi Wong, sat down now looking at Raju, "Tell, Salleh of this, he'll know what to do". Raju nodded and exited the room. The Tun leaned back into his armchair. He took a sip of the golden liquid in his glass. He stood up and walked towards the room's window, it was facing the outside garden.

He was the Tun. People needed him and he needs the people. He isn't a man in office, but is strong enough to own them.

Petty feelings of Affection.

Desperation,

Anxiety;

The heart is a fragile thing,

it longs for the feeling of love,

never it can be without emotions.

Who does one go for?

What is the heart wanting?

The choices are many

but ultimately

only one is chosen.

Does one go for the one,

in waiting

or

the lonely

or

the hurt

or

the fascinated

or

does one don't go at all

and

focus on what's more a priority?

It came and gone.

It is 22nd May 2011. We are still here, continuing our lives as usual. Doomsday predictor Harold Camping said that there is 'No plan B' on the destruction of Earth on the 21st. Well, Mr. Camping, not to be offensive, we are still here, the world still exist as it does. Yes, the end of the world came for some orphans at Hulu Langat but that was very unfortunate. May they rest in peace. But for the rest of us, our lives still needs to go on; we can't do anything because the isn't here yet. So much, for the destruction. Next up, we will have to wait for 2012.

Moving to a more close-to-home issue, given 3 times for the engine to die, is already considered sympathetic but given 9 times is saint-like; and even that you are still able to fail, what chance is there to get your driver's license. Yes, I have failed, or lets put it, didn't pass my driving test. It's a shame and now, just have to lessen up on the feet. At least no road accidents caused.

A takeover?

Christianity is to become the official religion in Malaysia.

Before you start getting all excited and jittery, read again. And again. Does anyone in their right mind think that the Christians would want to make Christianity as the official religion in Malaysia? Why did such an issue ever rise in the very first place? We Christians understand and tolerate* every other race and religion in Malaysia, we wouldn't be as ignorant as to come up with the idea of making Christian as the official religion. Furthermore, it has been stated in black and white that Islam is the official religion in this country, who would dare challenge that? The Federal Constitution (by right) cannot be challenged or questioned, so why would we want to that in a country governed by constitutional and federal law?

No one can deny the Islam and Christianity is an Abrahamic religion. This makes us brothers in a way; and in both religion we are taught to respect and look after our brother, if this so then we would look after each other's back. This issue has become racial because of some people's opinion that having a global prayer event would be planning a mass takeover of a country. Critically speaking, we Christians wouldn't want to take over the country, we don't have the power to do so.

So, I ask my Muslim brethren, do you really think that we are that mad to rebel against our own brothers, you?

Being a student, the youth of Malaysia and being a Faithful of Christ; it sometimes makes me wonder, why would the authorities, to whom we trust, bringing up such sensitive issues? Everyone should be mature enough to think that Malaysia strives as a multi-racial country, and this is one of our prides; if we destroy this aspect then what else do we have?

Insensitive people and radicals should not be involved in this issue, let some intellectuals and wise-men in. What happens if we have extremists in this issue? A group of them would think to the extreme that the opposing force is all-out to get them, then they go mad and attack the opposing force who didn't even plan anything in the first place. And the price to pay: the fall of unity in Malaysia.

I am praying that we can get a mutual understanding among each other. To my Muslim brothers and sisters, we both know that our religion is about peace and harmony, for a greater future in the after life; quarrels between us are inevitable but lets work harder to lessen the friction. The pastors and priests in the event were just having a prayer, a unity between God and man, this is where everyone is invited to speak to Him; discussions of this sort would be futile and contradict what we are praying for. Besides that, the government allows anyone in Malaysia to spread their faith in anyway providing that they do not disrupt the harmony of others. For all that we know, the people who (initially) started this issue a) misinterpreted the true purpose of this prayer b) wanted to (purposely) get at some one and\or c) never understood the true meaning of faith.

http://www.bharian.com.my/bharian/articles/Agendapertemuanpaderiserius/Article/

http://www.bernama.com/bernama/v5/newsindex.php?id=584728

*Tolerance= the ability, willingness, or capacity to allow the existence or occurrence of a matter without interference. Maybe others should to learn this because this is what 1Malaysia is all about, and those who are officially dealing with this issue should look at it and learn as they are promoting it.

Easter Vigil.

This pictures were taken during Easter Vigil mass, 2011.

The candidates; who are about to believe in the faith, stand in front of the congregation while the priest prays over them.

The path to the Altar.

From left to right, The altar boy holds the microphone for the priest, Deacon Martin overlooks the procession and Fr. Rajoo blesses the Candle of Easter in Holy Water.

A Eurasian Affair 2.

Meeting a family member after a long time can be exciting. Some feel terrified and there are times when people are reluctant to do so, no matter how long they haven't met their family member. At first I myself was a little nervous in seeing Lt. Col (or uncle) Ed after many years and his wife (my aunty); the chills ran through me, what am I going to say when I see them, can I offer my hospitality and not hostility to them as guests at my home? Petty worries, in the end it all turned out to be a joyous time together with my mom's elder brother.

You see, being a Eurasian has its own unique way of life, we have always the fusion of the Western and Eastern culture in our everyday lives. Some of our homes are a typical arrangement of an English man's house and the other room is just as messy as any kindergarten. In addition, some of us are too one-cultured favoured till we lose the opposite culture's way of life. The combination of the multi-culture in our bloods make us proud to be called Malaysians.

Anyway, having the uncle and aunt around excites the nature of my home. Having them (or having any extended family members) creates the atmosphere of story-telling, hobby tips, old-to-young advises and of course a pinch of gossip. We sit in the living room for hours and share stories that sometimes have no relation to one another, example: the Chinese boy in the neighbourhood used to be cycling around selling 'roti', and remember Aunty X who married that man from UK who's cat your grand-uncle looks after. Talking about your granduncle, how is your sister-in-law who converted last year. I just love this, takes some time getting used to though. Furthermore, when we get together, the elder will always give wise advice to the young ones, and the men of course will give their advices: treat a girl well, then she'll cook for you, even if she can't don't bother or else you'll never get to eat again.

When guests come over, we chiak (Hokkien word meaning 'to eat'), no matter what, food and drinks becomes the axis of interaction in a gathering. We take them out for an Indian lunch, a Chinese dinner and Eurasian-Malay-Indian lunch the next day. See, we're a fusion of culture. A few drinks maybe at night, and goes again the sharing of time with each other.

The family is always being the centre of concern for us and God being the foundation of everyday life. Also, there is the learning curve in which we the young ones learn from the old and the old learn a little from the young. We never bore of each other, and another thing is, we quarrel occasionally but which family do not? The witty jokes always brighten a solemn mood where a solemn mood always calms the overjoyed moments. Call us mix, we enjoy life as hard as we can, and we strive hard to make it in a country where our race was born.

Forgive me for the unorganized flow of the essay and the minor grammar mistakes here and there. This is just a mere insight on how this minority race in Malaysia go about our lives.

A Eurasian Affair 1.

It's Easter! And what do Catholics do when it is Easter Sunday? Besides praying; they feast! They eat and drink around a round table and share stories, joke around and a little gossip included. After 6 weeks Lent and going through the Holy week, Good Friday we finally enjoy ourselves. Easter is a time to laugh be jolly and have fun; not forgetting the resurrection of the Lord of course.

Having lunch with the aunts and uncles, always brings entertainment. A table of 9, at a Chinese restaurant, an 8-dishes lunch, feast! Prior to eating, stories from the elderly always come up, about whose aunt is whose daughter that is married to that uncle's brother which is your grandmother's sister which is my sister in-law. That's is one more thing about Eurasians, it is hard to marry one, especially you yourself is a Eurasian, because somehow or another we are all related*.

Next, looking at our lunch table, you'll see a true blend of Malaysia. We have a mix, of Chinese, Indians, Caucasian (look-alike) and Malay (look-alike). People that pass our table give a strange stare at us, surely at the back of their minds they are saying, "What are these people?". Oh well, we're a mix of the East and a little of the West, so we're Malaysians!

Furthermore, getting together over lunch, with people which you are (somehow) related to, and had all kinds of backgrounds, you'll find that the talking and chatting is longer than the eating. We spoke before the coming of the food came- we feasted, the food gone, we continued talking. Well, I guess that goes much for everyone's lunch date.

No doubt, it is very interesting when one can observe a typical Eurasian family at lunch or dinner. There's always a mix of faces and colours, always one (or a few) then can speak three or more languages (including multiple dialects of Chinese: Hakka, Teo Chew, Hokkien, Cantonese), never-retiring business man, man from the army, Church women and of course the youngest one. Next time, when you're in a Chinese restaurant at around a Catholic festival, lookout for this kind of table, you'll be surprised.

*This brings to my theory of that I (or any younger generation Eurasian person) shouldn't marry another Eurasian because somehow or another we are all related. Example, at lunch today, the Chinese 'aunty' with us was my father's godparents' daughter, which is related to my mom by her brother-in-law who is my mom's cousin; to make it more interesting, she is one of the first in Malaysia mix-marriage.

Of golf balls and mayonnaise jar.

This is an interesting e-mail forwarded to me.

When things in your life seem , almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his ...... class
And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open Areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - family,
children, health, Friends, and Favorite passions –
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play With your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend"

Values of Friendship.

Life, no matter how sweet or bitter it is, we must endure and stay resilient. In these experiences; there is just some things that in life we must always never take for granted. I learned that one thing that we must always treasure and appreciate is our friendship. Friendships may sound light, but the value, of pure friendship is rare and sometimes, it takes a lot of time to find it.

I have learned that my friends are not here forever. This is why, it is important to keep them close to your heart and appreciate every moment with them. Only with them, we will feel secure because we know that no matter what they will be here for us. Should they abandon us, we must never do so, it is because then one day they will know how much they mean to us.

Beneath the arrogance and condescending attitude, I need my friends. I need them because, in a way they are the ones, that keep me going, the people in my life. To this, I realize that without them I am rather lonely and a little sad.

It is not my insecurity that makes me feel this way, but it is the confidence that my friends give that make me that they are other people out there who are worth keeping; and to keep them is to treasure them. I have lost friends before, and yet they give me the second chance, this is why I believe that these is who I have to keep. Never before this, it has occurred to me that everyone here can be relied on or even trusted.

"Friends come in and out of your life"

True. But some are to be kept forever.

In fact, there are many ways that one can lose a friend, a breakup, a denial, an abandoning, through time and even through death. Though I haven't loss any friend through death, but through spirit I have. And because of this, I have learned to appreciate the people around me. It is a heartfelt feeling when you know your friend is there, but you can't get to see him or her anymore.

Never lose touch when someones trusts you, treasure every moment with them. Although I may never be the one to show gratitude, but I am striving and learning. I have learned now, that I need them, I need my friends to stay afloat in life.

I am sorry,

I should have known better;

but sometimes emotions take place.

I wish you all the best,

remember me when you make a name,

and when you see-

an opportunity,

go for it.

Theory

Here is a theory.

When one finds another person attractive and have an affection to them, and the opposite party has the same mutual feelings; but one of the parties would not admit that affection, he\she will try to avoid the liking party.

Example A likes B. B likes A. A approached B and told B about how A feels towards B. B understands the feelings, but denies that he\she likes A. So to continue denying B own's feelings, he\she will try to avoid A at all costs.

Copied article from somewhere.

I got this article from some random Facebook "Like" page. A little weird but this is actually rather relatable.

HOW GUYS FLIRT
He stares at you a lot, starts random conversations, he "hits" you. He mocks you to make you laugh.He calls you cute or pretty and it makes you smile. He worries about you and your problems along with his own.He is PROTECTIVE. He always stays close when he can. He looks STRAIGHT in your eyes. He listens to you and remembers the things you say. He will sometimes say something to remind you you've said it in the past.He takes pictures of you even though you say you hate it.

A Journey.

Part of our life's journey has been completed.

2008

We just finished our PMR, we were all so excited with our results. Nothing could beat us down and we thanked heaves for giving us a break for the next year. We start having dreams of getting out of our school, proceeding to a greater and better school, we start having fantasy of ourselves being greeted by the world. We look at ourselves and say, let's bring on the big guy.

2009.

We enter Form 4. Nervousness strike us on whether we would be chose to enter the elite stream, we finally get a choice, a pinch of democracy to choose what we want to study. Dubbed as the "Honeymoon" year, we lay back and rest for awhile. We receive advices from our seniors that Form 4 isn't a year to rest, but to get your foundation up, but we rarely listen to that advice. We play pranks and we partied. We fell in love and we fought. Many of us left our schools and went to new ones hoping to get a better future. As the year approaches its finale, then our consciousness kick in, and we say time is running short.

2010.

The dreaded year, the final year in school. The big guy. From the very beginning we start to focus, not giving attention to other matters, we study day and night, burning the fluorescent light (midnight oil in modern terms), we shan't do petty nonsense. We enroll in more than two tuition classes, we avoid outings, we cease to enjoy. Then midyear comes, we slack a little, SPM is still a long way to go, we have fun, we relax, then ultimately our grades aren't that good. Then we realize SPM is just 3 months more. We go into gear and start sleeping with our books. Seminars, extra classes, "hot tips" circulate, desperation rises, we cramp our heads on what we are learning. A week more to SPM, our room lights are never off, we drool on our books and we the only thing on our minds are get As, get As, straight As. The dreaded D-day comes, it goes, and then it ends. We give out a sigh of relief, now we look forward on what are we to do for the next three months. Car? Work? Study?

2011.

January passes, February passes then March arrives. We pray more earnestly. We cross our fingers and our toes, we check the newspapers everyday to see when is it coming out, we have sleepless nights. Then after all that enduring the day comes. We don't sleep that night, we've lost our appetites and we get everything twisted up. We go to school on that day, we meet up with our friends; we laugh and share each other's experience over the past three months. The teachers exit the meeting hall, they lay the heavy stacks of files on the tables. The counters open. We line up, we get our results. And then, we see the tears, the screams, the joy, the laughter, the silence, the curiosity of one another and of course we see our teachers there. We look at each other, we shake hands, wishing one another congratulations, and at times wishing each other that this isn't the end. The hall quiet down, everyone leaves, life at school goes on as normal.

As for us, we now will have to move forward. A whole world is in front of us. We taste sweet victory for the past 11 years, and some us may feel remorse for the 11 years. But whatever it is, this is it, there's nothing you can do about your past, the only way is to look forward and beyond.

Congratulations to all my friends, your efforts paid off. Your labour is your own sowing; and now the world is yours. Don't ever feel bad or remorse over your work.

Thank you my teachers for giving us the guidance and making us study; our parents, and ultimately we thank God for giving a chance for us succeed.

Dedicated to:

all the Malaysian born in 1993 who took their SPM last year in 2010 and just got their results on the 23rd of March 2011.

And to you, my friend

who made my Form4 and Form5 life wonderful.

Night Ascending Chapter I

Christopher Pearl sat there on the bench by the walkway in the park. He closed his eyes, stretched his arms and leaned back. He took a deep breath and let it go. He was enjoying the cool wind on his skin, the cool evening breeze; then a subtle warm air crossed him. The air blowing grew warmer, then it got stronger. He opened his eyes and sat up straight. The wind blew strongly onto his face, he lifted his hands to block the wind. Then it died. The air was silent, dead silent. He stood up, something made him look behind. He turned, he gasped, then he collapsed.

I ran through the hallway as fast as I could, I was late again for the bus. Darn it, I tell myself that I have to wake up early every morning, but everyday I also tell myself, "Just a few more minutes". Then the next thing you know, a call from Muniandy, "Wake up! You're going to be late again".

This happens to me everyday. I run faster and faster; blur. The bus is behind me, I looked to my feet, look left. I shrugged and rubbed my temples. Ok, that was interesting. Then I raised my right hand for the bus.

As I got up the bus, the bus driver nodded and gave a light salute. He smiled at me and said "Well, I don't know how you did it, but you do run fast". I returned his comment with a nod and went to find a seat.

The only candle stood tall in the shadows. It was lit and was placed on the table. The glow of the candle made the things in the room cast an eerie shadow. The wooden door opened slowly, the figure that opened the door came in, he pulled a seat and sat down at the table where the candle was lit. He clicked his fingers, the door closed, the candle light grew brighter and the bookshelves that filled the room gave out a light humming noise. He stood up and walked to the only window there, he placed his palm outside the window. A lightning struck in a distance, the figure went back to sit with a smile on his face.

The Question Answered.

Sometimes, we wander, why is this happening to me?

Why isn't life more fair?

We keep asking those questions to ourselves when things don't turn out the way we want. We go into grieve and start sulking about the many sorrows we receive. At times, people will lose faith and focus, they lose the sense of logic and rationality. The worst would be when one would fall into depression. Up to here, we think, why is this so, what have we done wrong that fate has to bite us back in this way.

This is life, reality kicking you in the face telling that nothing is ever real in that mind of yours. The reason that we receive such agony is because, this is what we call life. Life is never constant, it is ever changing; so what right do we have to think all will always go well for us. These are all the natural order of the universe, and so, sometimes when we are kicked and punched in the face, we just have to be strong and sometimes fight back.

It is the ones, that can handle the burden is usually the one who is shouldered with the responsibility. These are cues for us, to push harder to overcome all these problems. All we need is just a little resilience.

The answer came to me, when I asked "Why did it happen to me? Why is it in this way?", it explained that sometimes, we just need to be stronger and move on. This is reality, and it isn't as sweet as it tastes.

Then another side of me had to ask, what if the answer I got was a lie? Meaning, we ask why this happens or why did someone do this to me, and the response to them when we ask them why is "It wasn't me. I didn't know."

Then this is the time we will know, reality really hurts, especially when we have doubts of the one we care about.

Whatever it is, how good things are or how bad things are, life still needs to go on. There is not a point to wander about the past and grieve about it but rather to take it as an example to do better in the future.

The Hopeless fool in Affection Part 2.

Part 2

Setting: School environment.

Setting: High school teenagers.

Setting: Early morning.

I sat up straight in my chair, I cracked my knuckles and gave a big sigh. I rubbed my temples and decided to stand up. I walked outside my class and stood at the corridor watching as some students come to school.

I looked at my watch, 7.18. The morning sky was still dark. I walked to the end of the corridor, and climbed down the stairs. I sat on the lower flight of stairs, some one was coming down. I moved a little to the left.

Another figure joined me, Foon Siew. He looked at me and put his arm around me. "My friend, let's just hope all goes well today. I had enough trouble from the teachers last week". He stood up and patted my head. He walked a few steps forward and he looked back. He winked and left.

I sat looking at him walk away, Yeah, let's hope all goes well today, I said to myself.