Gazing into the night; with her.

Sitting on my lawn at home, with a big open compound, I dragged a plastic recliner seat, sat on it, and stared at the stars. Upon looking at the stars, my mind started wondering about life. And being a typical male teenager, I started thinking about her. Yes, her, the girl which is 'the girl next door'.

As I was sitting there looking at Orion's belt, I started wondering, will she ever know about this? Will she ever notice how I felt for her?

All those questions rung in my head; I thought of one more: Why did I like her so much? What was it about her that made me fall for her? How come, I never felt like this before? The questions kept coming.

She was beautiful, I couldn't resist just staring into her eyes. The time when she and I talked, I could feel my heart racing, like a little girl. I remembered the time, when she participated in a district level competition along with her team; I tagged along, I remembered she giving me her stuff to safeguard it. She trusted me, whilst walking away in her pinafore I gazed at her and said to myself "We must be getting somewhere."

Foolish as I may seem, I just can't stop saying how beautiful she is. She was rich, she was tall and she was charming. Without doubt boys were after her, what chance do I have with her, seeing at the good-looking boys chasing her?

A friend told me, that I should just get it off my chest and tell her how I felt.

I couldn't, not at losing my friendship with her. Bad enough, I seem so dumb all around her, what more to tell her that I fancied her. I remember that she was the one, who encouraged me to get myself a more expanded lifestyle, to be a little more outgoing and of course, less serious.

I sat there gazing into the night sky, picturing her sitting next to me. Then all of a sudden, the lyrics of "If I Fell" started playing in my head. The song is from the magnificent Beatles, of how if I fell in love with you, would I be hurt, would our love be in vain? It kept playing, and suddenly I pictured her and I at the library in school, with everything else in place, there was her, how she and I spent our only time together, for a full hour. I remembered it, it brought a smile to my face.

I stood up, I arranged the chair back, I once again gazed into the night sky, seeing the stars glittering without their moon and once more I mind raced to think about her, only to be slowly fading and coming into conscience and to think logically, that she will never fall for me, not now, not tomorrow, not ever, and then I started to think of others who I too fancied.